In what can only be described as a catastrophic misunderstanding, Marjorie Whiskerstein, a local cat enthusiast and self-proclaimed 'feline whisperer,' was shocked to find that the much-rumored "Testy Tom's Cat Bar" was, in fact, a bar exclusively for actual cats.
Whiskerstein, known in her neighborhood for wearing cat-themed apparel and speaking exclusively in meows to her six cats, had envisioned a chic human bar adorned with feline motifs and maybe a few resident cats. "I thought I'd sip wine and pet some kitties," she lamented. "Instead, I got swatted out of an alley."
The bar, located through a hole in a brick wall and owned by Testy Tom – a local alley cat turned bar proprietor – is a hotspot for the city's cat population. "It's like they've got their own little society in there," Whiskerstein reported, nursing a scratched hand. "And they do not want us two-leggers around."
Eyewitness accounts confirm that upon her attempted entry, Whiskerstein was met with a flurry of hisses and swipes from a clowder of discerning feline patrons. Testy Tom, described by onlookers as "having the air of a cat who doesn't take any crap," was particularly unwelcoming.
"I've never felt so judged," Whiskerstein said. "And I've been to a dog show."
The mix-up has sparked a frenzy among the city's cat lovers, who previously lined up, hoping for a cozy human-and-cat drinking experience. "We had plans for cat yoga and everything," one dismayed patron shared.
Meanwhile, Testy Tom's Cat Bar continues to thrive as a feline-exclusive establishment, serving up a menu of milk-based cocktails and an assortment of fish snacks. "It's a space for cats, by cats, and that's just purrfect with us," meowed one satisfied customer from inside the bar.
When asked if there were plans to make the bar more human-friendly, Testy Tom reportedly looked into the camera with a disdain that only a cat can muster and walked away.
